*** Today’s Humour


Tips For Travelling In The South


-If it can’t be fried in bacon grease, it ain’t worth eating.


- If you run your car into a ditch, don’t panic. Four men in the
cab of a four-wheel-drive truck with a 12-pack of beer and a tow
chain will be along shortly. Don’t try to help, just stay out of
their way — this is what they live for.


- Don’t be surprised to find boiled peanuts, movie rentals and
fishing bait in the same store.


- Remember: “Y’all” is singular. “All y’all” is plural. “All
y’all’s” is plural possessive.


- Don’t be worried that you don’t understand anyone. They don’t
understand you either.


- If you hear a Southerner exclaim, “Hey, y’all, watch this!”


- stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will
ever say.


- If you see a turn signal blinking on a car with a southern
license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car
was purchased.


- Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. They are to be
positioned directly in front of one’s trailer, since it cost
considerably more than the trailer and should, therefore, be
displayed.


- As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone,
directly in the middle of the road, remember: many Southerners
learned to drive on a John Deere, and this is the proper speed
and lane position for that vehicle.


- You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you
already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you’re
better off trying to find it yourself.




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